Maybe I'm Not Superman
by Keiko Hidaka
Summary: Tsuzuki's thoughts about Hisoka, along with Five for Fighting's Song "Superman"


Maybe I'm Not Superman  
By Keiko Hidaka  
  
A note from the author: This is my first Yami no Matsuei song fic, inspired by the song Superman by Five for fighting. The plot hit me while I was listening to the song (all thanks to Shatzi-chan ^____^). This fic is dedicated to Mirai Kurosaki who will recognize the beginning of the fic... Thank you Mi-chan ^______^! I hope you guys enjoy this fic.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei, the band Five for Fighting, nor the song Superman....   
  
  
  
  
"It did it again, Hisoka."  
  
Tsuzuki stared at the blank screen. His laptop had shutdown again as he tried to finish his report on their latest mission. Unfortunately this technology of a "computer" was getting to advance for him.  
  
The teen rolled his eyes and turned the monitor back on. "Baka... you just clicked the screen off."  
  
"Ooooooh. Sank you Hisoka!" Tsuzuki smiled up at the annoyed bishounen.  
  
"Just urusei and get back to work, you idiot."   
  
He frowned as his younger partner walked away into the kitchen to get some water. He stared at the white screen before him and sighed. He felt so stupid trying to file a report. Usually Hisoka did all the reports, but Tatsumi suggested that they "share" the job and now it was Tsuzuki's turn. He tapped his fingers on the desk in boredom, his stomach growled like an angry dog, in hunger.  
  
"Hisoka?"  
  
"Yes?" He answered with little patience.  
  
"I'm hungry."  
  
Hisoka gave Tsuzuki a glare of annoyance and tossed him a bag of dried fruit. He caught it and ripped it open, devouring the sweet chunks of orange and banana. In no time the bag was empty and Tsuzuki sat at the desk licking his fingers gratefully.  
  
Hisoka, who was watching his older partner unconsciously, flushed as Tsuzuki's pink tongue flicked across his fingers, licking up the remains of his snack.  
  
"Wash you hands! Don't lick them!" He snapped.  
  
The brunette frowned, "But this way is tastier!"  
  
"Don't be so unsanitary."  
  
"Unsanitary?"  
  
Hisoka put his hands on his hips and rolled his eyes. "Just don't get my laptop all sticky."  
  
~*~*~ Five hours later ~*~*~  
"Hisoka! Come look!" Tsuzuki cried happily as he printed out his report.   
  
The small teenager looked up from his book and sauntered over to Tsuzuki, looking over his shoulder at the older partner's work. Hisoka blinked in surprise. Tsuzuki had somehow managed to write a seven-page report (including a title-page), and a graph that was color-coded.  
  
Tsuzuki beamed. "Do you like it? Is it good? Should I turn it in to Chief?" he asked eagerly, bouncing up and down on his chair.  
  
Hisoka smiled on the inside at how proud he was of Tsuzuki. He only called him a baka to hide how much he looked up to his friend. The report was perfect in everyway. Even better than something he himself could make. He admired the good grammar and higher level of language Tsuzuki used in his report. He sure didn't talk like the way he wrote. The pages were double-spaced for easy reading and were in perfectly straight columns and everything was in perfectly legible and neat. This was a miracle.  
  
"You got my keys all sticky."  
  
Tsuzuki ruffled Hisoka's hair. The youth turned crimson. "Don't worry Hisoka, I'll clean it up." Tsuzuki brushed the wheat-colored bangs out of the boy's verdant eyes. "What do you really think of my report?"  
  
Hisoka's face heated up at the feeling of Tsuzuki's fingers. "I... I think... it's very bad." He stammered, "You didn't use enough of our information and none of it makes sense, your graph is also off, the numbers are unrealistic." He lied.  
  
Tsuzuki slumped back in his chair and pouted. "Oh, I thought it was kinda good."  
  
"Well, its not." Hisoka said as he backed away. " You should revise it and ask me before you print it." Then he walked away back to his book.  
  
Tsuzuki sighed. He wanted Hisoka to be happy he had worked so hard, to appreciate his effort. His heart sank as he began to re-read his report. He had hoped Hisoka would have thought he was at least a little intelligent after seeing it... but maybe it was as bad as Hisoka said. Gosh it was getting hard to type...  
  
I cant stand to fly  
I'm not that naïve  
I'm just out to find   
The better part of me  
  
It wasn't just the report that upset Tsuzuki; it was how Hisoka treated him in general. The boy always seemed mad at him, never noticing how hard he was trying not to be clumsy, stupid, or childish. On the inside he knew he wasn't really these things. On the inside it was different. Too bad he couldn't show Hisoka the inside. Then maybe he could change his mind...  
  
I'm more than a bird... I'm more than a plane  
More than some pretty face beside a train  
It's not easy to be me  
  
Maybe Hisoka wasn't really angry with him. Maybe he was just taking out how he felt about his terrible past on Tsuzuki. The older shinigami frowned. Hisoka had been hurt and abused before they met. He wanted badly to reach out and touch his scarred partner, but knew how much Hisoka hated to be touched. He wanted to sympathize with the boy. Let him cry in his arms. Rock him to sleep. Wipe away his tears. Then they could both share the burdening pain together. Tsuzuki's frown deepened and his violet eyes glanced back at Hisoka, who was buried deep into his book with a pensive look on his face. He knew it was only a fantasy...  
  
Wish that I could cry  
Fall upon my knees  
Find a way to lie  
About a home I'll never see  
  
It may sound absurd... but don't be naïve  
Even heroes have the right to bleed  
I may be disturbed... but wont you concede  
Even heroes have the right to dream  
It's not easy to be me  
  
He skimmed the last paragraph of his report... it wasn't any of the things Hisoka said. Maybe Hisoka just didn't like him at all. Maybe he wanted to be partners with somebody else. Tsuzuki tried hard to be a good shinigami. Sometimes he messed up... well, a lot of times actually...but he always tried to make it up to Hisoka. He glanced at the boy who seemed engrossed in his book. Protecting his partner was his priority in life... actually in death. He had save Hisoka from dangers before, but Hisoka always backed away; acting like nothing ever happened...  
  
Up, up and away... away from me  
It's all right... you can all sleep sound tonight  
I'm not crazy... or anything...  
  
I can't stand to fly  
  
Tsuzuki decided it the report was as good as it would get. He picked up the printed copy and walked over to the lounging Hisoka.  
  
I'm not that naïve  
  
He took the book from Hisoka's hands and replaced it with his report. The boy clutched the paper with his thin, pale, hands and read it.  
  
"Its exactly the same as before, Tsuzuki."  
  
"I know." He said looking deep into the bishounen's eyes. "This is the best I could do." He wanted to pull Hisoka into his arms. Tell him how much he cared. Tell him he was always trying his best. How hard it was to be who he was...  
  
Men weren't meant to ride  
With clouds between their knees  
  
He felt odd standing there in silence as Hisoka clutched the report. It seemed both of them were wondering what to say. Then Hisoka looked up at Tsuzuki with a weak smile. "Its wonderful."  
  
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet  
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street  
Only a man in a funny red sheet   
Looking for special things inside of me  
  
Tsuzuki took Hisoka's hands and pulled him into an embrace. The younger shinigami stiffened for a moment in shock before wrapping his arms around the brunette's waist and dropping the report to the ground. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered except the crying figure in Tsuzuki's loving arms...  
  
It's not easy to be... me 


End file.
